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scroll 0 1 有些话在最亲近的人面前反倒说不出口
2012年6月的一天，刚过完73岁生日的西比尔写了几封信。在给弟弟的信里，她说自己前一晚“出了点小状况”，人没有受伤，车需要送去修理。写给邻居西奥多时，“出了点小状况”变成了“车出了点小事故”，事情已经处理妥当，不必担心。她还给作家安·帕奇特写了一封长信，谈刚读完的小说、书中的伦理难题和自己的老年生活，邀请对方有空到安纳波利斯住几天。在这封信里，车祸根本没有发生过。
在一封无法寄出的信里，西比尔写出了那个夜晚的另一种样子。她驶出图书馆停车场，眼前突然陷入黑暗，汽车撞上水泥墙，几乎彻底报废。回到家后，她整夜开着灯，不敢入睡。医生提醒过她，视力会继续恶化。她害怕那个一直被推迟的时刻终于来了：她将不能独自开车，不能读书，也不能再亲手写信。这封信她写给八岁时去世的儿子吉尔伯特。
同一个夜晚，在不同的信中变成了几件不同的事。面对弟弟，西比尔轻描淡写；面对邻居，她维持体面；面对喜欢的作家，她仍是那个能够从容谈论文学的人。只有在写给死去儿子的信里，她才承认自己正在害怕什么。关于这个夜晚，最坦白的一封信，写给了一个永远不会回应她的人。
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《My Salinger Year》剧照
这样的反差几乎贯穿了西比尔的一生，也构成了弗吉尼娅·埃文斯的小说《写信人》最重要的矛盾之一：她能向陌生人谈论文学，也能在写给逝者的信里袒露恐惧，面对最亲近的人却常常沉默。她清楚自己为什么不说，亲人感受到的却只是她没有回应。小说似乎在提出一个问题：为什么有很多话，在面对最亲近的人时，我们反倒说不出口？
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